Can’t Wear Skinny Jeans Cuz My Knots Don’t Fit…
Written by: Slim

Top 5 Sporting News Events of the day:

1.) Tiger Woods signs on the following endorsement deals:

  • Hooters
  • Trojan “just like skin” Condoms
  • The Liberator
  • Cialis
  • Playboy and Playgirl
  • 1-800-texthot

2.) Los Angeles Lakers Guard Kobe Bryant having season ending finger surgery and is rehabbing in Colorado…OH BOY!

3.) Oregon’s Jeremiah Masoli apologizes, installs Microsoft Office on the computers he stole…suspension lifted.

4.) Chad Ochocinco legally changes his name to Chad Chamash Shmeenem (Eighty Five in Hebrew) for the Passover holiday.

5.) Chris Bosh’s mother found, and she is actually half Brontosaurus…explains a lot.

April Fools!!! You probably think strippers like you too right?

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About the author

Slim had written 144 articles for Slim With The Tilted Brim