So I’m riding through the city with my high beams on…Can you see me? Can you see me? Get your Visine on.Written by: Slim
SEATTLE’S TOP TEN MOST HATED SPORTS FIGURES:
10) Bobby Ayala
From the ages of 9-13, there wasn’t a summer night I didn’t wake up in the middle of the night screaming “Why Bobby…WHY?” This ex-mariner relief pitcher blew more saves than I can count, and trust me…I can count pretty high.
9) Jerramy Stevens
First and foremost, let me get this off my chest…J. Stevens, you are a d-bag. There, I feel a lot better. During his time with the Washington Huskies, Stevens never fulfilled the lofty expectations coming in and when the Seattle Seahawks stupidly drafted him in the first round, Jerramy had a shot to really give it to the Seattle faithful twice, which he did!
Here is a solid list for you:
-Talking trash during the super bowl and then dropping at least 10 balls during the game? Check.
-Getting cut after multiple arrests? Check
-Blowing his career? Check
–Absolutely killing the spelling of the name Jeremy? Check.
8) Paul O’Neil/Jim Leyritz
This Yankee tandem was not only the meanest duo ever, but would also absolutely feast on Mariner pitching. Year after year, the Mariners would get crushed by the bat of O’Neil and the mouth and defense of Leyritz. These two Yankees are still the reason I hate the New York accent and entire east coast in general. (Except the Jersey Shore and club Karma of course)
Thunder Dan and Sweet Rex (made that up right now) absolutely killed the Seattle SuperSonics for years playing for the Phoenix Suns. Every Sonic fan has a lot of hate for this 3-point bombing duo…let’s check out some stat lines for these guys:
1993 NBA Western Conference Finals:
Thunder Dan went 12/17 (8/10 THREES) for 34 points…
1997 Western Conference First Round:
Sweet Rex went 12/22 (9/17 THREES) for 42 points
Let’s just say neither Dan or Rex are ever invited to my family’s house for our Hanukkah festivities and trust me, they are missing out.
6) Terrence Jones (Fresh in the mind of Seattle Sports Fans)
This pompous SOB had a televised press conference where he chose the University of Washington as his college of choice to start his basketball career. Then, Terrence promptly said a collective “F you” to the purple nation and spurned them for Kentucky.
First off, Yo dig?
Second, I hope you have the NBA career of the next three guys on the list.
5) Robert Swift/Johan Petro/Muhammed Sene
-Seven foot High School Big Man, can’t miss prospect…
-French Seven Footer, going to be the Tony Parker of the post…
-African Seven foot STUD, looks like Dikembe Mutumbo on defense…
All of these guys were B-U-S-T-S!!!
Wally Walker (Sonics GM during this time) and man behind drafting these three guys for the Seattle SuperSonics…HAVE ANOTHER!
4) Ty Willingham
Oh wait, and he talks in the third person, which is not cool.
“I, Ty Willingham am unemployed…”
3) Clay Bennett
Clay oh Clay…where out thou Sonics? You have simply taken away one of the most storied NBA franchises of all time. Ripping the Seattle SuperSonics away and moving them to Oklahoma City makes you a truly hated man in Seattle. There is only one thing I want to do to you and that is the following (not necessarily in order):
-Find your daughter,
-Take her out for a lovely surf-and-turf dinner,
-Hook up with her TOUGH…
-Never call her again.
2) Alex Rodriguez
Pretty self-explanatory here:
Promised the Mariners that he would not leave for money, then promptly left for a shit*y Texas Ranger team for the most money in the history of sports. Ten Years 250 million. A-Rod, I am going to turn around now, why don’t you pull the knife out of my back.
1) Dikembe Mutumbo
I had a perfect childhood…an absolutely delight, except for one moment in 1994. This moment was defined by Dikembe Mutumbo holding a basketball over his head after game 5 of the First Round Playoff Series vs. the Seattle SuperSonics. This moment was up there with the following terrible moments in my life:
-Getting dumped in the 7th grade with a girl I swear was my destiny…or so I thought when I was 12.
Editors note: she is now chubby, a 4/10 on the hot scale and living in Kent with a guy who is significantly less cool than me. Karma is a bit*h!
-Hearing Santa Clause wasn’t real…
-When Ken Griffey Jr. left the Mariners.
-Graduating college and entering the real world…
-When Destiny’s Child broke up…
That is it EVERYONE…I hope you enjoyed. Please comment if you have other HATED SEATTLE SPORTS FIGURES!