For da dudes who don’t know me…I know I’m from da west but I can teach you how to dougie!
Written by: Slim

On this delightful Wednesday or what I like to call the “hump day” of the week, I have decided to do a quick “5 Facts of the Week”, so get ready for me to drop a little something something on ya’!

5.) We start with Jose Bautista…Who?!?!?  One Toronto Blue Jay Outfielder who leads the entire Major Leagues in home runs!  I mean this 7th year guy has 40 HRs by August 24th.  Who the “F” is this guy?  Jose’s most HR in a single season was 16 prior to this year.  A little advice for you Jose…when you go on “THE JUICE”, moderation is key for you NOT to be noticed.  You are about to hit 55 HRs in a season as a 29 year old utility player for fu*ks sake!  Excuses Jose could use for his offensive explosion this year:

  • Shake Weight Baby, SHAKE WEIGHT!
  • Finally went to a dentist to get his teeth fixed and can now eat all kinds of meats and proteins.  (Oh wait, Sammy Sosa already used that excuse, NEVER MIND) (Sammy, be more white, seriously)
  • This year, Jose drinks a 5 hour energy before every game…ever get that 2:30 feeling?

4.) Shaquille O’Neal apparently proposed to former “Flavor of Love” winner, Nicole “Hoopz” Alexander.  MARRIED!  Shaq, this is on the list of unbelievably terrible ideas in your life…What other horrible ideas has Shaq been involved with you might wonder?  Well, I am glad you asked…

  • Kazaam…Shaq as a 7 foot, 1,000 year old genie?  How did this movie not work? 
  • Shaq in Phoenix with the nickname “Big Cactus”…old, fat, bad knees with a team that runs the floor faster than Ben Johnson on the needle?  To Sun’s General Manager Steve Kerr:  My first wish from Kazaam would be to fire your as*!
  • Shaq taking the microphone at a NYC club and freestyle rapping including a line that said: “Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes.”  Just brings a vivid pic to the mind, thanks Shaq.
  • Shaq’s quotes…ALL OF THEM!  My personal favorite was when Shaq was asked if he went to the Parthenon when visiting Greece…he responded with : “I can’t really remember the names of the night clubs we went to.”  YESSSSSS, Shaq quotes are what I live for.
  • Did I mention the movie Kazaam?

3.) Washington State University demoted from a 4-Year University to a Community College in Palouse County.  Finally the Cougs are put in an academic climate they can not only succeed in but maybe even flourish.  Well done WSU administration!

2.) Tennessee Titans Running Back Chris Johnson is my hero…This is why:

  • He is fast;
  • He has dreads;
  • He has gold teeth;
  • He has a twitch;
  • He is cocky and brash;
  • He is tatt’ed up;
  • He recently challenged fastest man in the world Usain Bolt, to a race; and
  • In the following video, he names his car: “It is what it is”.;=related
Simply said, AMAZING!

1.)  This has nothing to do with sports but one of my best/longest tenured friends and I got in a deep discussion about the art and form of “grinding”.  Popularized by the show “MTV Grind”…grinding is defined as “a type of close partner dance where two or more dancers rub their bodies against each other.”

My friend and I couldn’t help but laugh at the concept…a girl bent over shaking her butt, all the while, a guy thrusts onto her while holding her hips.  What a great world we live in where we can do this without being judged, laughed at or arrested.  Not gonna lie, I am usually given high fives and slaps for my grind work on the dance floor. 

That brings me to my last point my friend and I discussed.  We were talking about our own grinding ways, and I told him I was a big north to south grinder…or what I like to call the back and forth SEE-SAW grind.  He told me that the SEE-SAW was out of style and he has gotten onto another grind move.  The 360 degree tornado.  Intrigued, I asked him to describe it…
It is a thing of beauty where the guy, instead of a back and forth movement, does a circular (360 degree) grind.  It not only looks good but you can dance to the song a lot easier and look smoother…

So my last question to you is…HOW DO YOU GRIND?

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About the author

Slim had written 144 articles for Slim With The Tilted Brim