Clay Bennett, Do you like Apples?
Written by: Slim


Thursday night, November 4…seemingly another dull night in the early NBA schedule.  Teams getting their bearings, vanilla defenses all around, The Knicks Danilo Gallinari giving us glimpses of greatness, Timberwolves President David Kahn scheming to try and draft Ricky Rubio once again and of course my personal favorite…dogs catching frisbees at half-time.

But one thing stood out on this night.  The, as Bill Simmons calls them, Zombie Sonics (OKC Thunder), played in Portland against the Trailblazers only a short 180 miles on I-5 south of the city they called home 42 for years. 

For people who grew up in Seattle, like Slim, the best years of my childhood were moments in time of GP to the Reign Man, Big Smooth draining 3’s, Hersey Hawkins hitting every mid-range “J” known to man and George Karl orchestrating it all. 

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Three Thoughts On the Video:
1.) Yes, Chris Gatling did high five the Reign Man after getting smushed on…
 (38 seconds into the video)
2.) Yes, I did start grinding in the Starbucks when “Slow Motion” by Juvenile came on…    
3.) Yes, I did say Starbucks…and of course I have been here using their free wi-fi without buying a drink all day, GOT EM’!

This was all brought to a screeching halt when Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz sold the team to a man who wanted to bring a NBA franchise to his hometown of Oklahoma City all his life, Clay Bennett.  Yes, the same Clay Bennett whose daughter my friends and I have been looking to find for years to try and set up a YouTube/Kim Kardashian type video to black mail the sh*t out of Clay!

How would one court young miss Bennett you ask? Observe:
Slim: Matt Damon
Slim’s buddy: Ben Affleck
Clay Bennett’s daughter: Minnie Driver
Clay Bennett: D-Bag with long hair
“How do you like me NOW!”

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As it pains me to talk/watch/see everything and anything associated to the Thunder, I can’t help but wonder what life would be like with the Sonics still in Seattle. 
-Durant unleashing the best offensive arsenal of moves since George Gervin…
-Westbrook making people forget that Jerryd Bayless was supposed to be the pick, not him…
-Jeff Green, playing his best modern day Scottie Pippen…
-And finally, TWO WORDS: Kevin Calabro on the microphone (I guess that is five words)…

Well, they are gone and Durant, Westbrook, Green and Calabro are nowhere to be found.  And still, one tear rolls down my cheek every time I think of the Cub Scout handshake between Schultz and Bennett…in which Schultz asked Bennett to pinkie swear not to move the team, as Bennett had his fingers crossed and was dreaming of the horrible shades of blue and orange playing in OKC.

Alright, enough about that…back to last night.  There were droves of Sonics fans who went down to Portland to represent the memory of our fallen team.  Here are some amazing pics from last night:

Sonic Fan dressed in the old Sonic Mascot outfit, SQUATCH
Oh how I miss you, hairy friend.
More Sonic fans with Squatch…Homeless indeed.
Clay Bennett, read it and weep…how does it feel.

Sonic Fans outside of the Rose Garden…
Squatch inside the Rose Garden in Portland…Telling it how it IS!

More Sonic Fans representing the Team in Portland.
A quick sketch I drew up while at Starbucks…joking, or am I? 

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About the author

Slim had written 144 articles for Slim With The Tilted Brim