The other chick Im with never complain…She make wanna leave the one im with Usher RaymondWritten by: Slim
How to create a Freak…and I’m not talking about the big guy from The Goonies, (HEY YOU GUYSSSSS), I am talking about my favorite Bringer (Brotha/Ginger) Blake Griffin! This L.A. Clipper phenom is starting to act like his #1 draft pick status. On Saturday night, he went for 44 points, 15 rebounds and 7 assists, including two dunks that haven’t been seen since Larry Johnson in NBA JAM on my Super NES, via 1993!
During this holiday season, there are always great recipes for Thanksgiving stuffing, Christmas hams and of course, Slim’s personal favorite, Hanukkah latkes. So I wanted to whip up a recipe of my own…which of course is a recipe to create a NBA STUD like my boy Blake!
So without taking anymore of your time, Slim presents the ingredients to create a Super-Athlete…(kind of like Super Shredder in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze.)
-1 monster brotha.
-1 monster ginger.
-1 Luther Vandross Cassette Tape.
-2 bottles of Pinot Noir, 1988, with hints of cinnamon and black cherry…
-3 shots of Louis XIII Cognac, or what the kids call it, “That Remy Martin”
-1 brown shag rug…(the kind that makes you think of Burt Reynolds in all of his GLORY)
-1 fire place with three Duraflame logs (scented of course).
-11 green M&M;’s (If you know what I’m saying).
-And finally, and the key ingredient…The early 2000’s romantic comedy “Serendipity”. Girls are smitten with the sight of John Cusack, SMITTEN!
Mix that all together with some tender love and care, and VOILA, FREAK ATHLETE Blake Griffin pops out like a Magic Trick!
I know, I know, some of you are thinking: “C’mon Slim, this can’t possibly be true…”
But, please let me be the first to tell you, the truth is in the pudding…My parents listened to Kenny Loggins instead of Luther and I am a 5’7”, 160 lb guy who just recently ruptured his Achilles in a co-ed flag football game. So, this recipe is not to be messed with.
And yes, I just talked about my parents sex life and am currently adding a few more sessions with my phyciatrist to work through some things…