We coulda worked it out, but I guess things change…It’s funny how someone else’s success brings pain.
Written by: Slim
DARKO DARKO DARKO DARKO
Ladies and gentleman…There has been a sighting.
No, it is not the Loch Ness Monster…
No, it is not defense in the NBA…
No, it is not Pee-Wee Herman in a movie theatre…
It is none other than the bust of all busts in the NBA, Darko Milicic and better yet, playing actual basketball. There is no way Darko, that of the frosted tips and #2 pick by the Detroit Pistons in 2003, is playing like a stud right now, is there?
Oh yeah, Darko is killing it over the last 5 games for the Minnesota Timberwolves.
OH MY DARKO!!!
This is the best Darko has ever played in his career and on this Thanksgiving day I wanted to give him so much needed love. Darko has gone to hell and back in the NBA trying to live up to all the hype and it seems now that he has carved out a nice role in Minnesota. It doesn’t help that of the top 5 picks of the 2003 NBA draft, he is the only one not named LeBron James, Carmello Anthony, Chris Bosh or Dwyane Wade.
So, now I present to you:
THE EVOLUTION OF DARKO!
Darko as a young man, just telling the world:
“Yes, I am from Serbia…”
“Yes, this is my e-Harmony profile pic…”
“Yes, I color my hair like a 68 year old woman…”
“And yes, I am looking through the camera and into your soul…”
(All this said in a thick accent)
Darko playing in Europe and finally realizing the importance of following the directions on the hair bleach kit…is that more water and less powder?
Ahh, that’s more like it…more water in the bleach kit. Darko started off his career with the Detroit Pistons in 2003 sporting the “Johnny” from Karate Kid look.
PAIN DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS DOJO, DOES IT…
Darko, later with the Pistons looking quite sharp with the “all-natural” comb over cut.
Hey John Mayer called and wants his f’ing hair back!
Darko, after a summer training with Dennis Rodman and Ben Wallace.
Not a good Look for the young Serb!
Final days with the Detroit Pistons as Darko tries one last time to salvage his basketball career as well as the frosted tips look. Both failed harder than Conan on prime time…hey NBC, sh*t the bed more, seriously!
In 2005, Darko gets a fresh start with the Orlando Magic dying his hair black and taking it to the rack. (I couldn’t help myself.)
It’s 2007, time for a new team and of course a new fade…Darko with a fresh buzz cut. True or false Darko, you consult with fellow Eastern Block Baller Andrei Kirilenko about the finest in hair products?
2009 brings Darko to the “Big Apple”.
Number 31 for the New York Knicks, number 11 for hair styles and always number 1 in our hearts…DARKO MILICIC!
And finally, my boy Darko on his latest team, the Minnesota Timberwolves, enjoying not only some successes on the court but off the court as he looks to add the facial hair to his arsenal, ala Christian Bale. GET SOME DARKO!
And finally, Minnesota Timberwolves GM David Kahn compares Darko to Chris Webber.
Oh yeah, and it was to CHRIS WEBBER’S FACE! Oh Dave Kahn…
About the author
Slim had written 144 articles for Slim With The Tilted Brim