All I want for Christmas is…Written by: Slim
Chief Executive Officer
Dear Mr. Ballmer,
Steve…can I call you Steve? I know you, or at least I think I do. I know you sold $2 billion of Microsoft stock last month…I know you want to put your stamp on Seattle culture…I know you want to be known as a man who makes things happen.
With that, there is one thing and one thing only I want for Christmas. Are you ready Steve?
No, it is not a million dollars, but that would be nice…
No, it is not a job with the X-Box Group and a free copy of Microsoft Office, which would also be nice…
No, it is not an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle…I probably would shoot my eye out.
The only thing I want for Christmas is to hear the following next winter:
(Key in voice of Kevin Calabro)
And now, the starting lineup for your 2011-2012 SEATTLE SUUUPPPPERRRSONICS:
Center- Emeka Okafor
Forward- Trevor Ariza
Forward- David West
Guard- Marco Belinelli
Guard- Chris Paul
Yes Steve, I want you to bring an NBA team back to the great city of Seattle. Our rich basketball tradition and bright basketball future needs, yearns for a team. Kids are growing up in Seattle right now without the privilege of rooting for a hometown team. No Gary Payton, Shawn Kemp, or George Karl to warm their winter nights. No Big Smooth, Hersey Hawkins or Detlef lighting up December games like a Christmas tree. Steve, do what’s right here…How you ask? Okay, here you go.
Find a NBA team that is struggling financially and is in need of new ownership…
-Done, the New Orleans Hornets are soon to be sold to the NBA who will then find an ownership team able to support and make the franchise successful.
This is all made possible as a result of the following:
-A struggling economy in New Orleans…
-Poor attendance (About to trigger an escape clause in their lease as a result of low attendance)
-Current ownership partners have a deficit of $83 million (as of June 30, 2009)
- Majority owner George Shinn recently cited financial troubles and unsuccessful negotiations with minority owner Gary Chouest. (Never a good sign)
Build a strong ownership group and plan of action to show the NBA that Seattle can sustain a profitable franchise.
-Done, the Seattle SuperSonics have flourished before and can do it again. You showed great leadership in trying to keep our team when Clay Bennett was ripping them to Oklahoma City, and now is the time to step up and bring a team back. With Seattle being the 13th biggest Television market in the nation and with a promise for a new, privately funded Arena in the works and possibly in Seattle suburb Bellevue, everything looks to be in place…can you say “BING ARENA”?
Have the money to buy the team…
-Done, everyone knows who you are and what you do for a living right? You are freakin’ Steve Ballmer, you’re bigger than US STEEL! (For all the young ones out there…that was a Godfather reference, go ahead and rent that). The NBA is said to be planning on buying the Hornets for around $300 million and is looking to sell for around $350 million, which can be found in the cushions of your couch Steve. So, clearly money is not an issue here.
Bring the team seamlessly to Seattle…
-Done, purchase the team with you as the head owner, build a new arena and use Key Arena as a stopgap until new, state of the art building is ready.
-Prove to David Stern and his NBA cronies that the likes of Kansas City, Las Vegas, Anaheim and San Jose are small potatoes compared to Seattle.
Yes, I have thought about how ironic it would be to steal a team after our city was destroyed by Clay Bennett and the Oklahoma City ownership group. But honestly, the Hornets have only been in New Orleans since 2002 and had to be moved during Katrina for two years. New Orleans is an NFL city where the Saints run supreme and Hornet basketball history is as thin as Paris Hilton after the flu. I mean, have you ever seen a real nest of hornets in New Orleans? I think not! Seattle needs the SuperSonics back in town for the city, the economy, the kids and if anything, to get our mind off the Seahawks and Mariners.
So Steve, that is all I got…have a good holiday and if you make this wish come true I promise to buy season tickets including nachos and a diet coke every game, KNOW THAT!
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