I know a Bar Out On Mars, Where They Driving Spaceships Instead of Cars…
Written by: Slim

June 29th 2011, or what I like to call: TODAY IN SPORTS…

Day #106 of the NFL lockout.  At least we have the NBA…OH WAIT.

NBA planned lockout set for this Friday at midnight eastern, where the leagues collective bargaining agreement expires.  I can’t imagine where the problem lies between the players and owners with such fair and sound CONTRACTS:

Brendon Haywood: 6 years, 55 million
Tyrus Thomas: 4 years, 37.5 million
Carlos Boozer: 5 years, 80 million
Travis Outlaw: 4 years, 28 million
Ben Gordon: 5 years, 58 million
Gilbert Arenas: 3 years, 62.4 million
Rashard Lewis…look it up, I can’t write it down because it makes me sick.

T.O. has ACL surgery out of nowhere…Although, I predict he will be ready in less than a month, that is how much of a freak he is.

28 year old Jose Reyes is finally healthy, hitting and running around the diamond like Ty Cobb: .349, 15 triples, 30 Stolen Bases, 40 multi hit games…IT’S NOT A CONTRACT YEAR IS IT?  Which New York team is going to grossly overpay for this guy?  Food for thought, if Jose Reyes is 28, then that girl I met at the Dodger game, and then met again in the parking lot, and again in my car, is actually really 22.  Hard to lay the sarcasm on thick via blog…but you get where I was going with that.  They don’t keep the best records in the Dominican Republic…Hey, Miguel Tejada, be older…were you actually there when FDR signed the NEW DEAL? 

 

16 months ago, Jose “Joey Bats” Bautista was a journeyman baseball player.  Today he is the most feared hitter in the MLB and was off to a Barry Bonds like start (20 HRs by the end of May) but then slowed down when he realized the HGH/steroids he was taking was actually becoming painfully obvious.  An actual quote from a recent Sports Illustrated Article about Bautista: “What stood out with Jose was his amazing bat speed…”  Yeah, it just so happens when an athlete hits the big 3-0, they suddenly generate crazy bat speed and start hitting HRs like Mickey Mantle…(pre 15 beers and 4 Jamison on the rocks).  Just like I never believed that little kid could actually see Dead People (F You Haley Joel Osment), I dont believe Joey BATS!

Tiger Woods has a weird beard and is falling harder in the world golf rankings than SLIM is “in love” withevery girl in Los Angeles…I am looking straight at you, chick at my gym, with the LULULEMON pants doing those bend-over things right in frontof me with 2 pound weights.

South Carolina Gamecocks baseball team win back-to-back national championships tonight.  I was one of 12 people watching it…which was 8  more than who watched the Women’s World Cup today.  Speaking of the Women’s World Cup, love me some AMERICAN soccer players:

ALI KRIEGER:

AMY RODRIGUEZ:


ALEX MORGAN:

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About the author

Slim had written 35 articles for Slim With The Tilted Brim