Now If You Looked and Seen Lime Green Forces and Kiwi…You Couldn’t Get This Color if You Had a Personal GenieWritten by: Slim
Ladies and gentleman, no it is not Anna Kournikova, no it is not Jennie Finch, no it is not that dime piece gymnast from back in the day Dominique Moceanu…and if you are out there Dom Moc, call me, I will show you what the uneven bars look like in 2011 GIRL!
I am talking about a little lady on the United States Women’s World Cup Soccer Team…Miss Alex Morgan, of the Diamond Bar, California Morgans. Of the 5’7 standing, Cal Berkley attending, Year of the Snake 1989 born ALEX F’ing MORGAN.
Slim caught up with Alex after tonight’s game with France where she scored the third goal of a 3-1 Semi-Final win putting the United States in the World Cup Final against Japan on Sunday.
SLIM: Alex Morgan, what a game, great goal but let’s get right into it. Give us the scoop…Single? What type of gentleman do you go for? You are hot enough to be a Hooters server in any city, you know that right?
Alex Morgan: Oh you stop it…thanks Slim, but I will pass on that. Great game, yes I am single and I am looking for three things in a man…tall, dark and handsome.
SLIM: So what are you saying…
Alex Morgan: I am saying you are out…short, Jewish and creepy was cool for a minute when Adam Sandler had his moments, but now it just seems desperate.
SLIM: Well, I wrote an entire article on how you can’t trust girls with two first names, suck on that ALEX MORGAN.
Alex Morgan: This interview is over. (leaves)
SLIM: (Yelling) About to put up pictures of you on what I like to call the WORLD WIDE WEB…or what Al Gore invented, the INTERNET.
ALEX MORGAN YOU ARE A DIME…WAIT, SO IS THE COMMENTATOR ASHLEIGH IGNELZI, OHWEEEEE