Prince William’s ain’t do it right if you ask me…Cause I was him I would have married Kate & AshleyWritten by: Slim
I know I know…Slim has disappeared like Jack from the Titanic in that cold icy water. But unlike Leo and his baby blues, I am back, and yes, better than ever! You know when Taco Bell takes the Crunch Wrap Supreme off the menu then suddenly brings it back to delight of all the CWS lovers? That is what I am doing…just trying to gain a little Slim fanfare as we head into the depths of winter.
I apologize for my absence over the last few months. But I promise to make it up to you in the form of writing a lot of funny sh*t…A lot of informational sh*t…and a lot of sh*t that makes you say huh…
Over the Thanksgiving Holidays, my brother and I were watching the Grambling vs. Southern football game…or what the South likes to call the BAYOU CLASSIC. What is the funny thing you might ask? As you know, Slim has affinity for unique sports names…and well it doesn’t get any better than the Bayou Classic. Take a look at my top ten names on these two rosters…literally breathtaking:
-Bruna’ Foster, Senior WR
-Bakari Maxwell, Junior WR
-Octavious Andrew, Freshman WR
-Tareyton Banks, Freshman RB
-Jamalfa’dell Jackson, Freshman FB
-LeAndre Vallot, Freshman DB
-Zoltan Riazzo, Senior PK
-Emanuel Raspberry, Freshman DB
-Jacarde Carter, Sophomore LB
-Jomarcus Savage, Junior DL
-Demetric Rogers, Senior CB
-Dray Joseph, Sophomore QB
-LaMarkus Pettaway, Freshman CB
-Sylvester Nzekwe, Junior RB
-Javandon Vallare, Senior WR
-DMekus Cook, Junior CB (No that is not misspelled, that is DMekus!)
-Franchot West, Sophomore LB
-Detrane Lindsey, Freshman LB
-LaQuinton Evans, Senior WR
-Keathon Ransom, Senior DE
Funny Sh*t Numero Dos:
Do you think the Miami Marlins would have paid Jose Reyes 6 years for $106 million if they had seen this music video before the offer? Can you say LOW BUDGET?
We can’t go an entire blog post without talking about Timothy Richard Tebow…QB #15 for the Denver Broncos. This god loving, phenomenal looking, lefty slinging QB has taken the NFL by storm. Most people think Tebow’s stats look about as bad as a Colin Farrell movie…But on the contrary my friend:
First 8 starts of career for John Elway:
-Record: 3-5…1,041 Yards, 3 TDs, 10 INTs, and 92 yards rushing with 1 TD
First 8 starts of career for Tim Tebow:
-Record: 5-3…1,281 Yards, 10 TDs, 4 INTs, and 550 yards rushing with 5 TDs
Tim Tebow True Facts:
-Siri doesn’t work on Tim Tebow’s iPhone 4S, because NOBODY talks back to Tim Tebow.
-Tim Tebow’s Rice Krispies don’t snap, crackle, pop; they recite John 3:16.
-Tim Tebow can get breakfast at McDonald’s after 10:30 A.M.
-If Tim Tebow was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
-Tim Tebow will never die or pay taxes.
Sh*t that makes you say HUH:
LSU Super Sophomore DB Tyrone Mathieu…also know as , SLIM’s favorite new nickname…THE HONEY BADGER:
“The Honey Badger don’t give a sh*t, it just takes what he wants…”
Heisman Trophy Winner and UNREAL BAYLOR QB Robert Griffin III (RGIII) looks a lot like a certain rapper who likes to talk about Bombs and Baghdad:
Doug has brought us many amazing things in life from the famous Hail Mary against Miami, the Flutie Flakes and of course the drop kick extra point during his stint with the Pats. But bros, prepare yourself to take a lot of mental photos here because he has a f’ing smokin’ daughter…I am talking hotter than a Tim Tebow jock strap (too much?). And if you were wondering…yes, she is a cheerleader for the New England Patriots. THANK GOD FOR YOU ALEXA FLUTIE. And then we come to the question, “How do I take mental pictures?” CHECK IT: