Psycho, I’m liable to go Michael…Take your pick, Jackson, Tyson, Jordan, Game 6…Written by: Slim
I know everyone has seen this by now…but I wanted to make fun of Oregon one last time as we start 2012. LaMichael James, French (Not Spanish) for “The Michael James…” Why French you ask? Because only French people would FOR SURE be this scared on roller coasters…even the two young girls in the back are killing it on SPACE MOUNTAIN. Check it:
Back to Oregon…Did anyone see their green and metallic uniforms gone wrong last night? Why didn’t they go with the black on blacks as we see below!? Hear it now…Oregon WILL have See Through helmets by 2015. How unreal would that be?
Hey Bill Romanowski…be crazier and more NOT in touch with planet earth PAL:
Derek Sanderson Jeter…The sweet swinging (I am talking on the field and in the bedroom) shortstop for the New York Yankees is at it again with the females. Derek is honestly the Don Juan of the Upper West side recently breaking up with Minka Kelly for another round at being single. When Slim becomes an eligible bachelor (gets dumped for the daytime manager at the inner city Sports Authority) he heads straight to a local Hooters or Dave & Busters with his bros. Derek Jeter? Well, good ol’ Derek is banging everything this side of Houston Street and sends them packing with some autographed balls and memorabilia. Oh you don’t believe me? Read on…
From the New York Post:
“The Yankees captain’s wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am kiss-offs came to light when he mistakenly pulled the stunt twice on the same woman — forgetting she had been an earlier conquest, a pal told The Post.
“Derek has girls stay with him at his apartment in New York, and then he gets them a car to take them home the next day. Waiting in his car is a gift basket containing signed Jeter memorabilia, usually a signed baseball,” the friend dished.
“This summer, he ended up hooking up with a girl who he had hooked up with once before, but Jeter seemed to have forgotten about the first time and gave her the same identical parting gift, a gift basket with a signed Derek Jeter baseball,” the pal said.
“He basically gave her the same gift twice because he’d forgotten hooking up with her the first time!”
I mean for f*cks sake…Google “Derek Jeter’s Girlfriends!” I’m not mad at this lineup:
Quick Top 8 Strumpets in Jeter’s LIFE:
-Lara Dutta (Miss Universe in 2000)
Compared to a quick Google search of “Slim’s ex-girlfriends…” Yes, I had some weird years in the 90’s, especially when Fabio took me to Red Lobster for the Surf n’ Turf.
And finally…and by popular demand. MORE EX-ATHLETE DAUGHTERS. And do I have a doozy for you! Three words for you and let them roll around your tongue, “THE GREAT ONE…” As in Wayne Gretzky and his daughter and my future ex-wife PAULINA GRETZKY. Thank you god for the world wide web. Let’s just say that Paulina has been real friendly in Tweet land. Follow her @PaulinaGretzky #YOUREWELCOME
Okay, one more zing on the University of Oregon and this one was easy. After their first Rose Bowl victory since Woodrow Wilson was in office, the defensive MVP (Kiko Alonso) and offensive MVP (Lavasier Tuinei) really show the world that at Oregon, they can play a little pig skin…but public speaking, English and grammar…not a strong suit: (START at 6:00 min)